Kathi's Website - A memorial tribute for my twin daughters Charlotte & Marianne

We wish...

...you would talk about Charlotte and Marianne.
...you would not be afraid to mention our daughters. Just because you never met Charlotte & Marianne, doesn't mean they don't deserve your recognition.
...you wouldn't pretend that Charlotte & Marianne never existed. The truth is - I gave birth to beautiful twin girls. Our daughters were real people and they were alive.
...you wouldn't think that we don't want to talk about our daughters. We love Charlotte & Marianne and need to talk about them.
...that you would understand it is ok for us to cry when we talk about Charlotte & Marianne.
...that you could talk about our daughters more than once. It reassures us that you haven't forgotten about them and that you do care.
...you would remember and celebrate special days with us. Their birthday (9th November 2008) and their angeldays (20th & 21st November 2008) may be sad days for us, but the are also very important.
...you would undersatnd that we want to celebrate Mothers and Fathers days. The truth is to celebrate these days is honouring that we are special parents to two beautiful girls.
...you could tell us you are sorry our daughters died and that you are thinking of us.
...you wouldn't think what has happened is one big bad memory for us. The memory of Charlotte & Marianne, the love we feel for them, the dreams we had and the memories we have created for them are all loving memories. Yes there are bad memories too but please understand that it's not all like that.
...you wouldn't say this happened for a good reason. There is NO good reason why any child dies.
...wouldn't expect our grief to be "over and done with" in a few weeks, months, or years for that matter. The death of our children is not something we will ever "get over", it is something we will intergrate into your lives.
...you understand that when our daughters died - we changed. We are not the same people we were before we had children and if you keep waiting for us to get back to "normal" you will stay frustrated. We are new people with new thoughts, dreams, beliefs, and values.
...you wouldn't judge us because we are not acting the way you think we should be. Grief is a very personal thing and we are all different people who deal with things in different ways.
...you wouldn't tell us we can just have another baby. Some days we may talk about having another baby but the truth is we want our daughters back and no other children can replace them.
...that if we are blessed with more children, you will help us tell them about their big sisters.
...you would understand what you are really saying when you say "next time things will be okay". The truth is how do you know? What will you say if it happens to us again?